Things I’d Say If I Wasn’t Afraid to Hurt Your Feelings: Core & Pelvic Floor Edition
A Core & Pelvic Floor Truth Talk for Moms
I care deeply about women feeling strong, confident, and at home in their bodies.
And sometimes… caring looks like saying the quiet parts out loud.
My approach is usually not so brash, however if there were no holds barred and I was at max level spiciness I would tell you these things— because the truth is, avoiding these conversations is what keeps so many moms stuck.
So, let’s talk about it. Because sometimes love looks like honesty. 😘
1. Leaking Is Common. But It Is Not Normal.
Yes, a lot of moms leak.
No, that does not mean it’s something you should just accept as part of motherhood.
I physically cringe when peeing your pants gets brushed off as “#momlife” or laughed about like it’s a rite of passage.
Leaking is a signal, not a personality trait.
It’s your body telling you that your core and pelvic floor aren’t getting the support they need — not that you’re broken, weak, or doomed forever.
Common doesn’t mean healthy.
Common doesn’t mean inevitable.
And common definitely doesn’t mean untreatable.
2. Losing Weight Will Not Automatically Fix Leaking or Back Pain
This one is tough, because diet culture taught us otherwise.
But here’s the truth:
Being smaller does not equal being supported.
You can lose weight and still leak.
You can lose weight and still have back pain.
You can lose weight and still feel disconnected from your core.
If weight loss alone were the solution, you wouldn’t still be dealing with symptoms after doing “all the right things.”
What actually matters is how your body manages pressure, how your core and pelvic floor function together, and how you move through daily life.
3. Please Stop Blaming Everything on “Getting Older”
Aging is not the villain here.
You don’t suddenly wake up one day and leak because you turned 35.
You don’t automatically develop chronic pain because you had a birthday.
What does happen over time is:
years of compensating
poor posture becoming habitual
lack of intentional strength
skipped core and pelvic floor retraining after pregnancy
The answer isn’t to stop moving.
It’s to start moving intentionally.
Your body doesn’t need less movement.
It needs smarter movement.
4. Stop Caring So Much About Calories Burned — Start Caring About Support
I know this might feel like sacrilege in the fitness world, but hear me out.
Calories burned during a workout matter far less than:
how consistently you move
how you breathe
how you stand, sit, lift, and carry
how supported your core feels
whether your body feels safe during movement
You can burn a ton of calories and still reinforce dysfunction.
You can sweat buckets and still be teaching your body poor patterns.
Real progress comes from habits, alignment, breathing, and consistency — not chasing exhaustion.
5. Bounce-Back Culture Is Bullshit
(And You Already Know That)
Your body is different after kids.
That’s not a failure.
That’s not something to “fix.”
That’s just reality.
The problem isn’t that your body changed.
The problem is trying to train it like it didn’t.
Postpartum bodies — whether you’re 6 months or 16 years out — need:
reconnection
retraining
support
patience
Train for the body you have now.
No drama. No shame. No big deal.
6. Crunches and Planks Alone Are Not “Doing All the Things”
If your core routine is:
crunches
planks
sit-ups
…and you’ve never learned how to connect your breath, deep core, and pelvic floor together?
You’re missing the foundation.
Those exercises aren’t inherently bad — but without connection, they’re often just reinforcing compensations.
Core work isn’t about bracing harder.
It’s about coordination, pressure management, and timing.
If you haven’t built that first, you’re building on sand.
7. Kegels Are Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution
This might be controversial, but it needs to be said:
Kegels are not the answer to every pelvic floor issue.
In fact, doing kegels without understanding breathing, relaxation, and core connection can make symptoms worse for some women.
And yes… there’s a strong chance you’re doing them incorrectly.
Pelvic floor health is about balance, not just strength.
Sometimes the issue is tension.
Sometimes it’s coordination.
Sometimes it’s timing.
More squeezing is not always better.
8. You Don’t Get an Award for Struggling More
There is no trophy for:
doing it all alone
putting yourself last
pushing through pain
waiting until things get unbearable
Struggle does not equal strength.
Isolation does not equal discipline.
You are allowed to want support.
You are allowed to make things easier.
You are allowed to choose yourself.
9. Here’s Your Permission Slip
You are officially allowed to:
get guidance
ask questions
make lasting change
stop guessing
stop white-knuckling your way through workouts
Your body isn’t broken.
It’s under-supported.
And you don’t have to figure this out alone anymore.
Ready to Start Making This Easier?
If this hit home, I created a FREE Core & Pelvic Floor Simplified Guide to help you understand:
why these issues happen
what actually helps
and where to start without making things worse
👉Grab the CORE & PELVIC FLOOR SIMPLIFIED GUIDE and let’s stop pretending this is something you just have to live with.
Honest conversations.
Smarter movement.
And a whole lot less unnecessary struggle. 💛
